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31 December 2008

New Year
Each yr, on this dae, I promise myself n tell myself it will be better e next yr. However, things hav remained pretty stagnant for e past 21 yrs. I reali hope to see a better yr next yr. I am sick of waiting. Angels...if u r there, can u jus grant me my wish?

Things hav been draggy. Frens commented tat I am not obvious enoff. It is not tat I din wanna. Sumhow, e fear of losing e frenship eats me up literally. Havin seen wat happened to her, it onli reminds me not to end up like her. Wanna veri much to sms a forwarded sms. Perhaps, even angels up there r frustrated wif me for being so wishy washy or tellin me not to venture further. I jus cant send tat damn sms across. It keep reflecting tat sms is not delivered. GRR! Call? Dun Call? Call? Dun Call? BAH! I will decide again later.

2008 is comin to an end soon. Lookin back thru e yr,

Jan
I had my 21st birthdae celebration. I wasnt a good host for e event. My apologies. Did sumting which I regretted on e exact dae and I am glad its all fine for now. :) Was tryin hard to get over wat happened on my birthdae thru out e entire month.

Feb
Still in a lousy mood. CNY came n received a sms frm him which makes me tot tat things r gettin better. However, it isnt true.

Mar
Got myself a temp job in Molex. Went a little crazy over an engineer in there in e hope to get over him. Got myself several tutees to occupy my time to e max. Was indeed madness.

Apr
Molex's job came to a stop @ e end of e month. Was feelin upset as I wont b workin anymore. Life would b back to e oh-so-boring routine of doin nothin but sleepin n eating.

May
Nothin much tat I can recall for. Still, e oh-so-boring routine continues.

June
Nothin much tat I can recall for. Still, e oh-so-boring routine continues.

July
Went for my operation. It was less painful than I expected it to b. However, e results wasnt wat I wanna it to be. Was busy recuperating n makin myself get well for e upcomin skool. Spotted him during e enrolment. He was sittin diagonally behind me. Went for orientation. Happened tat we ended up in e same grp. Happy. :)

Aug
Got to noe e frens in SIM better. Was secretly noticing him thru out e month. Was feelin happy a moment ago n sad e veri next moment. Din reali get to noe him tat well. He was said to b veri close to another gal. It was pure obvious tat she likes him. Got me livin on faith tat I will get him one dae.

Sept
A series of common test came n went. We got closer due to my stupidity in my studies. Met up as a grp of 4 to study @ J8. Celebrated his birthdae @ Minds Cafe. E grp gotten him a balloon with pics of hunks on it. It got him blushing. Celebrated R's birthdae. Met him @ e birthdae party. We din spoke. It was pure awkwardness. I tot our frenship is over. I was feelin so upset tat I nearly cried on e way home.

Oct
Exams n project deadline were knockin loudly on my door. Was ultimately stressed out by skool n tuition job. We were still maintainin good relations. Got to noe his fren, KH. It was fun hangin out wif them.

Nov
Exams were over n holidaes came. Met up as a grp on several occasions. Celebrated a fren of ours birthdae.

Dec
Met up to celebrate e Dec baby birthdae. Sensed e competition of another gal showin interest. Started losing faith in myself. Perhaps, it is due to e fact tat e competitor is comin on so strong tis time round. Not onli tat, in terms of appearance, she is much better than me. Perhaps, it is e work of low self-esteem. Sigh.

Tomolo will b a brand new yr! I hope to bring all these nonsense to a stop over here in 2008. Goodbye to low self-esteem n be gone wif e bad daes. Embracin e new yr ahead. :)

~ { 9:31 PM }
reflections of you and me;