Answers?
Life has been pretty alrite. It is jus tat I hav tons of questions floodin my brain and I cant help tinkin abt them day n nite. I understand it isnt a time for me to spend my time tinkin of these qns. In fact, I shld be more focus on my studies in e hope to get better grades @ e end of e dae. Y make urself go thru it when e person involved isnt bothered like u do? Sigh.

Other than being troubled with tis particular problem, there isnt anythin left to b troubled abt anymore. E onli tough thing is to let myself hav more faith in myself n psycho myself daily in order to feel better. It might sounds a little ridiculous to a certain extent. Yet, it is veri real.

Notes to myself:
Gonna FOCUS! It isnt worth it. Not a single bit. No one would shed a single tear for u over those lousy results. E onli person will b yourself. U can blame no one. U noe e reason why veri clearly Isnt it so? SO wat r u waitin for? CHIONG AH! Sae 'Hi' to HDs n Ds!

难过
生活中， 常常都会有不如意义的事情发生。
这回一连串的小考试成绩放榜了。
头两个成绩还算不错。
但是， 第三个就一塌糊涂了。
它却是最重要的一个。
看到这样的成绩，我不能埋怨任何人。
早就知道会是这个结果，为何还这样做呢？
这是我自找的。 只能怪自己。

“难过”这个讨厌的感觉一直找上门。
不管我怎样想把它甩掉， 它还是死缠烂打地跟着我。
就求求你放过我吧！

笑容好像不想跟我做朋友了。
它跑得远远的。。。
离我好远好远。
我四处寻找，东张西望。。。
只希望能找回那一个如阳光般的灿烂笑容。
可是，它却是如此的遥远。

In Skool
I am currently in skool waitin for pple AGAIN. I am complaining simply bcos tis happens everytime! I am sick of waiting n wasting my time on waiting when I could jolly well sleep my ass off. Grr...

Out of curiosity, I did a search on him once again. Frm e look of e photo on FB, it seems like he is back to being single. I hav no idea why I am still bothered by it when I noe he is so far away frm me. Be it physically, mentally or emotionally. Still, all tat I can do is to wish him all e best n may his life b filled happiness in e daes ahead. After all these yrs, my wish for him remains e same n I doubt it will ever change. When will I bump into him again? No one noes e ans to tis qn. One thing for sure, when e time is right, we will meet again. Perhaps, there isnt such thing abt e right timing in tis world. Hence, we might not even meet again.

PS: Its okie if u dunno which 'HIM' I am refering to. Cos I noe I hav too many to begin wif.

Crumbles
At times, I cant help but questioned myself if wat I am doin n tolerating is all worth it. For e past few daes, e tot of "givin up" crosses my mind more than once. It was like a emotional roller coaster ride for me. Time and again, I asked myself y I am so stupid n stubborn to continue to put myself thru tis. A moment ago, I might b smiling gleefully to myself. E veri next moment, I might b so upset n disappointed tat I was tryin so hard not to cry. It is tis up n down feelin tat makes me feel so vulnerable. It also makes reali crave to hav sumting in my life which I can hav a grip on. Stable n secure. If onli... Assurance can b bought like insurance.

Everything tats being displayed in front of me seems ever so perfect. It is ever so perfect tat I cant believe myself it is reali e case. Everythin jus fits ever so nicely like a jigsaw puzzle. Not even a bit of flaws or crack can b found. Yet, @ times like tis, I cant help wondering to myself if I am dreamin or not. Do I reali deserve all tis? Is it reali meant for me only? Not only tat, I hav alwaes remind myself tat no matter how perfect it is, problems r bound to appear in time to come. Life is never a bed of roses. Jus recently, e smart aleck me caused a tiny crack on tis ever so perfect thing. Well done, aunty spidey. It jus seems like I cant wait to die and I am actually digging into my own grave now.

I am sick of pretendin...
Yet, I dun wanna b e same...
Tell me when I can throw my tantrums...
I am definately not so GENEROUS...
I am jus toleratin...
Cos I dun hav e rights to show.