Disappointed
It hurts. I din noe tis is e way you would wanna me to b viewed by others. I teared @ e tot of it. I hav no idea as to why my reaction would b so big. I am shocked wif my own reaction too. I tot I hav learned to b numb to it. I tot I would b able to take all kinds of shit. Perhaps, PMS was e culprit. In actual fact, I am veri much affected by it. All of a sudden, I do not noe how to face her. All in my mind was to run away. It would be best to run to a place whereby she wont find me.

At times, I feel tat doin e rite thing @ e rite timing is veri impt in our life. With e rite timing, disputes can b resolved n results can b achieved. Yet, with e wrong timing, everything else break loose n nothin is attained @ e end of e dae. E wrong incident happened @ e worst timing ever. With a test on hand, I swallowed my sorrows n frustrations to prepare myself n clear my mind for e test. I understand tat it is not a time to b upset n sulk over e whole issue. I hav absolutely no idea how I did tat. I jus did wat I ought to do @ tat moment.

On a brighter note, I believe I will b able to score for tis paper. :) E whole dread feeling came shortly after e test. I walked aimlessly ard Clementi n ended up in Mac eating fries. I decided to pen down my tots n feelings. Apart frm tat, I made sum major decisions in my life. I would sae tat I am truly disappointed wif wat had happened n took a big step fore to make these decisions. It is largely due to these decisions which is makin me find it hard to face her. I do not noe how I shld view e whole entire situation. Pretend nothin happened n carry on wif life? It might b e easiest n best way out but I tink I hav enoff of it. Take e initiative n create a change to my life? I hav choose to take tis path. Its not gonna b easy. On top of it, I might hav more n more commitments in time to come. Tat means to sae tat u might not b able to see me tat often / easily anymore. As for now, I jus wanna avoid her n give myself sum time to tink thru certain issues.