Over Nothin?
Finally, I knew wat is bothering me so much n makin me so upset. I guess I jus choose not to face up to it. At times, I will choose to b an escapist rather than facing my problems. "Be Strong" was a wish sumone who was pretty influential to me at one point in time in my life. I dunno y I am so weak. He sees thru me n understands me pretty well. I haven grown any stronger since then. I tot I did. In actual fact, I din. I tot I am able to brave thru e storms in my life since I hav gone so much shit in my early childhood. I guess I din. E lack of social interactions in my early life does hav an impact in my life. It had never cross my mind tat it would affect me in any way. I alwaes tot tat I would b able to run out of it. As long as I am no longer trapped in e same hole, I will b fine. I had no idea as to why I din share my problems wif any of my family members. I jus tried my best to 'act' strong n came up wif stories to prove tat I live a normal life. Do I? No. I din. It onli continues to snowball into a bigger problem in my life. Peers of my age would hav committed all e mistakes I hav or might commit n might hav found a solution to it. Me? I guess I din hav enoff chances to commit e mistakes or at e veri least to try n learn frm it. Or am I jus grumblin over nothin? I hav absolutely no idea.
Tis is e part of me which I hav alwaes been reluctant to share n try my ass off to cover it up. At times, I crave to look for a stranger to pour my sorrows. I am craving for one now. In this way, pple who knows me are not aware of 'tat' side of me. I guess tats e reason why psychiatrist is well sought after in our current society.
Sour grapes... I am eating them rite now. :( As I watch pple ard me... I jus cant help feelin sour n sad. :( I still do not know how to judge a person's character well enoff. I sux @ it. I am jus blind. Listening to wat he said onli makes me feel even more upset as to why I din catch tat too!
Tats all for now...