I am Tired...
Tons of tots ran thru my mind. I need find a place to let out my frustrations. I hav no idea as to why she has to link every single little thing back to it. Can sumone tell me? As much as I yearn to go back to skool, there r many tots which ran thru my mind which is oso stoppin me frm doin so. I find it so tiring to b back there once again. I hate being in tat position.

I hate tat feelin. It seems like a hole. So huge tat I can never close regardless of wat I dump in to fill it up. I reali admire pple ard me. Sumtimes...I wonder if e fault lies in me. Not knowing how to show wat I wanna. Not knowing how to teach certain pple in my life certain lessons. Dun worry, they r not nasty lessons. Can sumone teach me? Does givin in helps? However, I believe tat pple r never sastisfied. No matter how much u give in, they will never understand. Sumone used to tell me tat I dun hav to bother anymore when I come out to work. Issit true? I have been workin on & off for e past 1 yr. Things dun seems like how I used to paint tat picture in my mind. Is there anyone who is daring enoff to let other party noe wat I wanna? Or do I hav to b e one to do it? Cos no one noes wat I wanna better than myself? I tot of ways to get e idea across. But ANGER alwaes seems to get e better of me.

Change. Tats wat I wanna in my life rite now. I guess no one can help other than myself. It is gonna b e motto of my life for e time being. I am gonna fight for wat I wanna. I hav not put up a fight for too long. Way too long...living with e most Ah Q belief..."Fated lah", "I cant do anythin with it" & "Jus live it". Tinkin tat if I give in, things might change for e better. Things hav proven tat it isnt e case. Courage. Sumting which seems to b alwaes lackin in me. Positiveness. Sumting which is never in me. I might sound like a problematic teenager. To b at an age of 21 n still act like tis, I understand it sounds totally ridiculous. All I wanna is to b heard, to b understood and to fight for wat I wanna.