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16 March 2008

^_^
I alwaes hav tis lost feelin when it comes to bloggin. I guess it is bcos I find it hard to express wat I wanna sae. Was surfin ard n blog hoppin ard. I happened to chance upon sumone's blog n found a pretty meaningful n interesting quote tat e person came up wif. E super gek kiang me decided to change it abit to make it suit me. Here it goes:

"I guess I made it too easy for anyone to walk in & out of my life."

Personally, I feel veri much for tis statement. I hav alwaes grumble abt how much I feel tat others hav taken me for granted. Esp. to those whom hav a placing in my heart. Of cos, e onli love ones who hav not taken me for granted r my family members. Other than tat, I find myself havin to change my schedule to fit into others. This only results in makin myself lookin nice. Tats e nice way to interpret it. Whereas, we can oso interpret it as desperate. Desperate to meet up to b exact. Tat oso reminds me of wat my gor told me once. Bcos I am willing to go e extra mile for others, it makes e other party feel tat they r special. Does it sound like a reali gd virtue to u? On e other hand, I end up feelin hurt bcos pple will tend to take me for granted. Then, I will end up being e one alwaes givin in. I alwaes wanna pple ard me to take me seriously. Things like makin a pt to call me for meet ups instead of me doin it. To add on more salt onto my wound, I hav pple askin me "U will hav pple who will call u one meh?" Tat totally kill me literally. Sumhow I feel so happy whenever pple jio me for meet ups. But it HARDLY happens. I am alwaes e one who suggest it. Leavin me wif envy whenever my cousin hav frens who called her up for meet up sessions. I wouldnt sae she had many frens. Jus a handful. I would sae she is jus meetin e same old few everytime. I dun mind meetin e same old few. E tot of havin sumone to call u jus feel gd. Knowin u r remembered.

I guess I onli got myself to blame for being too nice to the others @ times. I dun wish to sae everythin up front. Simply bcos I dun wish to appear like a lunatic holdin a card which reads "Desperate 4 accompany / I am jus damn thick-skinned." I will learn to treat myself better which in turns will treat pple ard me more nasty in e sense of not givin in so readily anymore.

2 weeks into my temp job. I reali wish to get away frm tis colleague of mine. She is highly charged wif electrons. Havin lunch n breaks wif her ard is a chore to me. Lunches n breaks r meant to recharge u n not to drain u. I feel even more drained after lunches n breaks. She is givin out electrons every single sec as u listen to her. No matter how many protons I hav wif me, I am bound to b negatively charged one dae at tis rate it is goin. I will end up using all my protons n become negatively charged. I dun wanna b negatively charged. At least not for now. Currently sourcing for lunch khakis. However, I might not b able to get out. Cos other depts r oso filled wif woman n 1 pathetic man. *gossips flyin high in e sky*


I din noe I appear to b sad to e others. It was onli wat a lady who works in e canteen asked me a qn tat dawn onto me tat I hav been pretty stingy wif my smiles. I am sorry I cant b generous wif my smiles as I find nothin worth smiling or funny to me. Feelin down bcos I hav no one to tok to. I dun wanna b engaged in those gossipy toks. It onli gets me into trouble n does me no good. I guess communicatin is sumting pretty impt in a person's life. Esp. for me! I dread e tot of not tokin. Simply bcos I love to tok! Tat explains y tis entry is so DARN long.

I remembered e daes where I hav a 'U' shape hangin on my face rather than a 'n'. Pple commented tat those muz hav been e happiest daes of my life. Yeah...indeed. I guess whether u r happy or unhappy wif ur life, pple can see it. I will TRY to smile more for e upcomin week. Hopefully, heaven will grant me more chances n topics to steal a few sec for exchange of words.


On a side note, I wont sae wat *****ing is. Over my dead body. :)

~ { 12:58 AM }
reflections of you and me;