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13 January 2008
Wat I Fear Most Has Happened
I guess knowin e ans doesnt hurt me as much as wat he had done. Simply bcos I sort of anticipated e ans. As for wat he had done, I hav also anticipated it. But e feelin is twice more painful. Cos tats wat I fear most. Losing e frenship. For sum, they may not tink tat it is as serious as losing a frenship. Or rather...e gesture is onli natural after all tat had happened. But to me, I hav been thru tis situation again n again. E end result? I lose e person as a fren too. I din wanna tis to happen. I reali dun wanna lose him as my fren. I wanna our frenship to go on for yrs. Laughin @ each other over e stupid things we do while we r young.

If u r readin this, I jus wanna tell u:

U dun hav t0 avoid me. Cos u can b rest assured tat I wont appear in front of u or tok to u. Not @ e veri least for a long long time. If sumone were to ask me if I knew u well enoff. I would sae I dun tink I dun understand u but I dun tink I understand u well enoff too. Cos I simply noe where u will b. (tats 3 yrs back) Does tat meant tat I understand u well enoff? Yet, there r instances whereby I felt so distant frm u. I never seems to know how to handle u when u r unhappy. I do not know wat to sae to make u feel better. I do not know wat to sae to make u open up n tok abt wat upsets u. Leavin me feelin speechless knowin u r upset. Not like how u noe wat to sae to cheer me up.

All I wanna sae, I dun wanna lose u as a fren even after wat has happened. If wat has happened has caused me to lose u as a fren, I would choose not to let it happen.

~ { 12:50 AM }
reflections of you and me;