Lost
Went for 'training' yesterdae. Or rather...more of understandin wat e heck tis co is doin. Manage to speak to an interesting lady. I enjoyed myself tokin to her. @ least it manage to take my mind off on certain issues for sum time. I am back to face it again. Sigh. I feel poor. :(
Jus like a spoilt radio...
It keeps repeatin itself...
E stop button wont work.
Sum asked me if I was ever angry wif her. Wat CAN I DO? Kill her? Get her outta my life? E onli thing I can do now is to move on n let time fades e memory of wat was done. But I doubt I can forget it. Cos tat fateful dae is my 21st Birthdae. It was meant to b e most memorable dae of my life...yes indeed it was. It was e worst nitemare of my life. Many asked to forget it n move on. I wish it was easier. I wish its as easy as how ur hav sae it. I realli wish so. It took me so bloody long to be able to tell myself tat I hav gotten over Andrew. It took me 4 yrs! I dun wanna another 4 yrs to get over it. Every now n then, I still dream of Andrew. But I no longer get moody over e fact of wat I dreamt. I hate tis feeling. Its eatin me up. I forced myself to tink of other things...but its veri tiring. Every single nite...b4 I sleep is torturous. I cant help it. It hits me harder when e weekend arrives.
I hav lost e enthusiaism n zest for my life.
I feel like a walkin zombie.
Livin life as each dae passes by
I hate my life rite now.
I realli wanna get out of it.
I hav no idea how I did it 3yrs ago.
I got to do it again.