Horrified
Goodness! I am totally turn off by myself. HAHA. I cant believe tat I am SO SO SO UGLY in my sec skool daes. SO NERD! Eww... Not tat I look damn fantastic now....but way way better. Haha... Oh yeah...saw him while I flip thru my yrbook. I wont miss him out definately. Even though as much as I wish...I am not feelin e rite way as I hav claim e other time. I dun feel okie lookin @ e photo of him. Is tat reali infractuation? If it is so...y isnt it goin away after so many donkey yrs? Is it a liking? Then y din it go off when I hav a new crush? It feels like it is embedded deep inside. It has grown its roots in me. I wish to take a look @ him...even though I noe he din change much in terms of appearance...frenster tells me so. BUT...I do wish to let him noe tat I hav changed. Hell lots...many sae so. In actual fact, e diff is longer hair and rebonded hair. Mayb...abit of make up. Argh...I hate e lonliness of e nite and e quiet-ness kills me ultimately.

Andrew...
I noe u wont b reading tis. Ha...so I can write wat I wanna.
U told me if I no longer like you, I wont feel sad or angry wif you.
Jus to let u noe, I was never angry wif you.
Onli once...but it din last long enoff. 3 daes was e max.
Sad over u? Yah...I guess I still do.
I do...miss u still.
Yesh...after u left for aussie...3 yrs...I still do.
Dun ask me y...I myself cant believe tat a crush can hurt me so badly.
Will we reali bcome frens one dae?
I am still waiting...
Once bitten, twice shy.
I promise myself...I will never do 'tat' again.
I guess things / pple alwaes appear to b best when u cant get it.

After so long, I hav not mention abt him to anyone anymore. I guess Alicia is rite. I remember she tellin me tat e worst way to 4get sumone is to keep everythin to urself. It is much easier if u do tok it out as much as possible. E tot of his return @ e end of tis yr makes me wonder if I will bump into him @ Clementi again. Lots of tots run thru my mind. I noe it is silly. I shld look for sumone who loves me more than I love him. Unfortunately, e ones whom I met recently...I jus dun hav e 'feel'. Hopeless case. Will I eventually find sumone who is able to make me forget Andrew?

Apologies for e nonsense. Off to zz...