Horrified
Goodness! I am totally turn off by myself. HAHA. I cant believe tat I am SO SO SO UGLY in my sec skool daes. SO NERD! Eww... Not tat I look damn fantastic now....but way way better. Haha... Oh yeah...saw him while I flip thru my yrbook. I wont miss him out definately. Even though as much as I wish...I am not feelin e rite way as I hav claim e other time. I dun feel okie lookin @ e photo of him. Is tat reali infractuation? If it is so...y isnt it goin away after so many donkey yrs? Is it a liking? Then y din it go off when I hav a new crush? It feels like it is embedded deep inside. It has grown its roots in me. I wish to take a look @ him...even though I noe he din change much in terms of appearance...frenster tells me so. BUT...I do wish to let him noe tat I hav changed. Hell lots...many sae so. In actual fact, e diff is longer hair and rebonded hair. Mayb...abit of make up. Argh...I hate e lonliness of e nite and e quiet-ness kills me ultimately.

Andrew...
I noe u wont b reading tis. Ha...so I can write wat I wanna.
U told me if I no longer like you, I wont feel sad or angry wif you.
Jus to let u noe, I was never angry wif you.
Onli once...but it din last long enoff. 3 daes was e max.
Sad over u? Yah...I guess I still do.
I do...miss u still.
Yesh...after u left for aussie...3 yrs...I still do.
Dun ask me y...I myself cant believe tat a crush can hurt me so badly.
Will we reali bcome frens one dae?
I am still waiting...
Once bitten, twice shy.
I promise myself...I will never do 'tat' again.
I guess things / pple alwaes appear to b best when u cant get it.

After so long, I hav not mention abt him to anyone anymore. I guess Alicia is rite. I remember she tellin me tat e worst way to 4get sumone is to keep everythin to urself. It is much easier if u do tok it out as much as possible. E tot of his return @ e end of tis yr makes me wonder if I will bump into him @ Clementi again. Lots of tots run thru my mind. I noe it is silly. I shld look for sumone who loves me more than I love him. Unfortunately, e ones whom I met recently...I jus dun hav e 'feel'. Hopeless case. Will I eventually find sumone who is able to make me forget Andrew?

Apologies for e nonsense. Off to zz...

Quick Update
Oh well...life has been pretty much e same. Sian. Cos work is sickening. :P Gettin pissed wif idiotic n crazy pple in my office.

Last nite was....GREAT! Haha... *secret* I noe it is nothin much. I read it again jus now. Felt tat there is nothin much n I shldnt tink too much. But it realli makes me happy n perks me up. :P I noe I am terrible n damn screwed. Pls... I dunno y. I jus hav tis urge to... It din happen for e others. I dunno y. I dun understand y I feel so strong for it tis time. Weird.

Off to zzz....yawnz. See u...

Untitled
Went clubbin on wed nite. Went to St James Powerstation. HAHA... Went wif my cousin n her frens. Oh well...din realli enjoy. Cos e place is simply too PACKED. Packed like sardines. Was squeezing our way thru here n there. Cant realli dance due to e limitation of space. Sick. Din realli drink oso. So...in conclusion, was pretty sian. :P Cos I wish to drink more...dance more...b more crazy. :P

Lookin for a job now...so difficult lah. Haiz...realli hope to get out ASAP. Due 2 e regulations set for the outfit, I cant joy in shoppin! Cos I cant get e clothes I like! They dun meet e requirements! SO...I cant wear to work! Tat would mean tat I can onli wear on sat n sun. Get so many oso no use. Sian...tats one of e reasons lah. More like I cant stand e place...due 2 e pple. I cant get along wif them.

Jus bought a perfume which cost me 77 bucks. Ouch! Heart pain. Lolx. But I realli like it lah. Heehee...lots of freebies oso. Haha...I am AUNTY Gan Cheong Spider lah. Cant help it.

Oh well...life seems abit boring cos I yearn for accompany. I wish there is sumone bside me who will look after me...accompany me to walk ard...share his life wif me... Haiz.

Is there any other way in which I can bump into him?! ARGH! I dislike e onli way...kinda against my will. Or shld I b even more brave??? Ask him out?! Ok...I seekin for trouble n a road of no return. I am damn screwed.

Bleahx...back in e mood of complaining. Cos not sastisfied...so will complain. But e qn is...when will human b sastisfied?! In fact, we r NEVER sastisfied. Lolx. Wat a sickenin kind of creature!