Angry Wif Myself
I tot I am okie wif touchy guys. I guess I am not. Now...I noe. I guess I like e feelin of being respected. Not havin sumone invading into my personal space. Oh well...u may sae I am shy. But I guess e close-ness...comfort level is earned thru time.

I am angry wif myself that I did not take e advice AGAIN...my instincts gave me n underestimated sumone. Or did I expect too much? Basic respect...issit too much? I guess not.
I can onli sae tat...
I guess todae is e 1st n will b e last?
Unless...I bump into tat sumone in e streets...
Then I tink I cant siam rite?

I was still blaming myself for misjudging tat sumone...
I guess I din.
I feel stupid.
Never in my life hav felt so uncomfortable...invaded too much.
I nearly wanna scream @ tat moment.
I dun see y I shld try to put up wif it when I noe clearly I dun feel comfortable.
Comfort level is one hell of a thing I realli put into consideration when I am hang out wif pple...
Whether I feel happy or glad hangin out wif e person oso plays a part.
Happy? I am not exactly happy...but I got to admit I did feel good, pampered n well taken care of.
I do feel glad abt e little things tat was in tat sumone's consideration list. Things tat I myself veri much overlook.
But e discomfort tat oso comes along is jus too much for me to take.
Shld I sae tat she is lucky tat sumone dun give a damn abt her tantrums?
Or am I e stupid one?
Now...if she ever comes to confront me, (which I doubt so) I will tell her..."U can hav it...I use my both hands n give it up to u."

Mayb e way pple perceive me in tis way...BUT...I am not. Definately not. Not sumone who clubs often...not one hell of a person who enjoys being physical. I dunno wat I did gives tat impression. Kinda affected by tis. Though I dream of havin sumone who cares n pampers me. But I tink genuine care n concern is veri diff frm being physical. I absolutely dread e tot of a guy touchin me unnecessarily. Though I usually dun show my displeasure...it does not meant tat I am okie wif it. Hands...head...is okie. Anythin more than tat...NO WAY! It makes me feel like I kena molested. I noe it is not so serious. But I jus dun feel good. Esp. when I dun realli know that person. Call me conservative...pessimistic... I dun give a damn.

I veri much wanted to b help but I guess tis isnt e way...