Sad
I am here to release e tension or wateva tat is in me rite now. Lots n lots of confusing things goin on. Supervisor not happy...no one to tok to. I am bored to tears. Has things changed? I hav been doin work e entire dae todae. Was feelin so tired...keep stretchin my body here n there. Fri is a doom dae. I got to hand in all my work. Damn stressed. I worked till 7.30pm todae. Broke record...lastest liao. Manager wanna BBQ but no one will wanna attend. Sad case. Colleagues organised a BBQ tis comin Fri. X mas gift xchange...exciting. I am lookin forward to it. I dunno how to make these ideas flow. So...I jus type wat comes to my mind. HAHA. Sorry. Realli in a bad mood. Cos super bored.

I onli hide 2 things from him. Out of 2...he oredi knew one. I dunno if he knows abt e other too. Haiz...tats all for now. Brain not workin...I am damn tired. See ya.

Insecured
I am feelin pretty down. I dunno y. Maybe it is due to e fact tat I feel veri insecured. I need lots of reassurance. It seems lke things r changin. I dunno issit for the better or for e worst. I need to reassess the whole situation. Tink thru it and do sumting abt it. Haven been tinkin much lately...which explains e y my brain has been deteriorating. Or am I tinkin too much?!

Sumtimes, I realli wanna treat him as a fren. Yet, @ times, he leaves me feelin realli pressurized and angry. I find it so hard to keep e relationship of co-worker and fren clear. Sumtimes, he is realli damn nice. Nice until I feel realli bad. Yet, @ times, his temper irks me off. I am jus askin sumting...his tone is one thing I find it irritating. I noe he is busy. I oso hate to disturb him. If possible, I try not to.

I tot thru as to whether I shld go or stay. Oh well, like it has always been on my mind, it veri much depends on my results. So...e best option is to extend my stay if possible till my results r released. Then...comes e most idiotic part, if my results were horrible, I dunno wat job to take up. *pray*

Loss
I feel so loss. Feels as if I cant connect wif e pple who r close to me. E freq no longer flows. Understanding. This word seems to b gettin harder n harder to achieve. I hate it when pple jump to conclusion w/o givin me a chance to explain. B4 I could explain, I was oredi sentenced to death. GRR! Give me a chance to explain alrite? Jus a few minutes will do.

Tomolo is MONDAY again! Mondae blues...bleahx. Oh well...dun worry pple, things r gettin much much brighter these daes. An incident happened. A good or bad one...is up to u to decide. To me...it consists of both. HAHA. But I am realli enjoyin myself once again. Things r reali lookin good now. Now...I am almost reporting directly to my manager! O_O I guess I might hav gossips flyin ard. Oh well...come to tink of it, which IA student get such great welfare like manager pay for u to attend D&D, manager let u off half a dae for doc appt to compensate for ur OT (when I can actually claim my OT! LOL!) n u go into ur manager's room more often than ur colleagues? Hmmm...even though e last one might not b a good one, I hav not went in to get any scoldin so far. It is more of questionin n kena teased. If u look @ it in another way, u can oso sae u r being noticed. Mayb other IA students in other companies enjoys even better welfare than I do. But...I am contented wif wat I hav! :D

Had lunch wif my manager, my male supervisor n my colleagues. My manager drives n we went out to eat. Great food...so much better than e cafeteria. HAHA! I miss e outside food whenever I eat in e cafeteria. I wish I hav a CAR! Tat would solve e prob! I find it so much easier to discuss any issues wif my manager these daes. After knowin him better, I find tat he is not tat scary @ all! Instead, he is damn funny n fun! :)

I would sae I realli hav a good exposure in this company of mine...in this particular dept. Politics...recognition...praises...reprimandin...teasing? HAHA! It makes me realise wat is impt to know as I go out to work e next time...be it in tis company or in other companies. E skills tat I learn...like how to handle politics...how to handle accusations or scoldin from ur superior, how to communicate wif other pple, how to get along wif ur boss, how to handle vendors...e list goes on. My male supervisor teaches me this n tat every now and then. I wouldnt sae tat he dun reprimand me @ all. He do...but in a gentle way. He would question me this n tat instead of tellin me off. @ e veri last, he will sae "Be careful e next time." Teaches me life skills here n there...even though I alwaes sae tat tokin to him is such a bore. HAHA. I purposely sae tat. :P I realli love my current situation. Yet, I find it so hard to explain to e pple ard me. To let them understand wat I am goin thru. Life is never a bed of roses. There r times whereby I meets a rough patch too.

Off to scrutinise my interim report b4 I sent it to my manager to read. :P See ya!

Mixture of feelings
Dunno is due to obsession wif work or wat, I am dreamin of work every nite! All kinds of rubbish...sum r fun derived from work. Sum r stress...sum r politics. Sum r nitemares! Aiyoh... It is drivin me crazy. E tot of Mondae jus sux. Mum is not cookin dinner on Mon again. Got to look for dinner khakis. Got tons of work to do. :(

Keep sleeping! Keep fallin sick...fever...then flu...then cough. Sigh. Feels like a pig. I hope to get well soon. My throat is screwed.

Tryin hard to rush my report. I am hopin to finish t by tis weekend. Sum loose ends to tie up...left e history n job scope to tie them up. :P I was hopin not to follow e regulations set. Heehee...dun wanna use Times New Roman. I wanna use Arial. :P Heck.

Feelin depressed. I dunno y. PMS?! I guess so. Lets hope tat my mood will improve as e daes goes by. I am losing faith in myself. E environment no longer feels e same. I noe sumting is goin on in e office. Everyone dun seems to b pleased. I dunno wat it is. Argh. Lets jus hope I am not involved OR I din cause any displeasure anywhere.

Screwed up
Bad week. Bad dae everydae. I am gettin increasingly frustrated wif everythin. PMS? I hope so. I would rather take it as PMS than other stuff. E nicely built frenship cum co-worker relationship seems to be gone. E work load is realli killin me. I am tryin my best to jus OT once a week. But it seems like it is gettin no where. I get haunt by my female sup everydae abt how is e progress of those packages. I dunno...everyone tinks their work is URGENT. Then whose shld I do first? E one wif a timeline? Or e one who saes is urgent but no timeline? Then...eventually when e timeline comes along...I jus got to slog my heads off workin on it. It is not like 5 or 6 packages. I got like 20 to 30+++ packages to handle. Every single package got a different problem. Where does all these problems come from? It comes from e person b4 me! For being irresponsible on trackin them. Leavin so many loose ends for me to clear n clean up. PUI! E no. of things I got to chase is HUGE. I haven sent those emails onli. If I were to sit down one dae n start emailing all e pple, I tink I can spend like one or two hrs emailing. Tats how disgusting it is. With e huge capacity of stuff to do, I get mistaken wif stuff over time. Cant possibly go n memorise them rite? Made a mistake todae...got realli confused. I din see e document properly oso...got shot! Mayb to him, I am arguing wif him. I felt horrible.

Went to chase vendor...got shot once again. I nearly wanna cry...cos tat feeling sux when sumone jus scolds u for sumting u dun tink u deserve it. E tot of prioritising my work jus makes wanna die. Do his first...scared she not happy. Do hers first...I cant meet his timeline. Cant meet timeline = inefficient. Tats part of e grading system for this attachment. Suggested to my male sup abt workin under jus one sup. Got shot once again. Tis time...e shot is a BIG BIG SHOT. Cos he asked me y...I said, I tink e work load is a little too big. He claims his work load is much bigger than mine. 3X more. BUT...I am a STUDENT. Not a perm staff there. I am here to learn. Not to work like a worker. I dun expect myself to b sittin there n doin nothin. But it is gettin out of hand. I am realli havin second tots abt staying. I noe my male sup is havin a tough time tis week. But...pls...dun shoot me. I am jus suggesting. If he dun like e idea, he can jus sae no. It is tat simple. Dun shoot me like a bazooka! He was e one who told me tat no one shld give me a black face cos I am helpin e person out. I am helpin him out too! He told me to take my time n do as much as I can. But he gave me a timeline. Am I supposed to realli do @ my own speed or keep to his timeline? I veri much wanna b his fren...but things r realli gettin out of hand. Leavin me feelin frustrated...irritated! I noe my attitude sux tis week. I got shot like 3 or 4 times liao. No one in e rite mind will b fine.

Its not like I dunno they hav politics between e both of them. I am not blind. I am not stupid. I am not deaf. I hate workin for e 2 of them. I dunno who is goin to shoot me e next moment. Fell sick n took mc. 3rd time. HR wasnt too happy when I took e 2nd time. GRR! U tink I like it? My manager asked me how come I fell sick? U tink I noe? I am not a doctor! My LO asked me y I fell sick. I dunno! He asked me if e work load is still alot? How am I suppose to tell him? Go n shoot my male sup? Or shoot my female sup? When my female sup oredi complained to him tat my male sup gave me alot of work. If she realli tink he gave me alot of work, she can b kind enoff to help me lighten my load by givin me less work rite? No! She din. She press me for e packages everydae! How contradicting! Y do e both of them do one thing n sae another? It jus dun tally. So...am I suppose to tell her tat I cant handle her work? Since she sae I could tell her so in front of my LO. Wouldnt tat give her a chance to shoot my male sup? In tat way, she could go n complain to my maanager. Then my manager shoot my male sup, then he come n shoot me.

Now...my manager goin to throw me another assignment. He asked me if I was very busy. Wat do u expect me to sae? I could onli look @ him blankly. I cant sae I tink I am veri busy. I dun wanna get another shot. If I sae I am, my male sup or female sup will get shoot. If they get shoot, they will come n shoot me sooner or later. In any way...I am still dead. I got to take all these shits.

I am jus in a **** up situation. I am realli irritated. I got no one to complain to. Hence, here I am to rant rant rant. GRR! I hope things will look brighter on e next week.

KTV
Alrite...here I am again to tok abt my male supervisor. Heehee...cos he is e one whom I mostly interact wif everydae. Other colleagues got no time for them. :P Cos I am reali busy these daes...OT-ed. No worries...I can claim my OT. Btw...I tink I accidentally offended him a little. I got to b more careful. Bleah. Tats e prob when I get too carried away or too crazy. I wonder if he felt offended anot. Tis is bad. I got to tink more n tok less. He is definately a crazy guy who crap like crazy everydae. Frm nothin...he oso can crap until got a joke outta it. *faints* Hence...I hav been laffing my heads off in e office n creating a din in there.

I got promoted! HAHA! Jus a joke...he gave me tis position...Party I/C. I jus got promoted on Fri...to Senior Party I/C. Within 1 week, I got promoted. Hehee...tat means to sae I am suppose to organise outings for my colleagues. All thanks to him...tis piece of news got to my manager's ears. Now my manager is urgin me to organise outing. *headache* He treats my manager n dept head as frens...so my news can spread like a wild fire into their ears. He even told my manager abt my worries abt e politics in there...so my manager wanna write my report for e skool for my grade.

Okie...now abt Fri...went to KTV. *throws face* I CANT SING! Gosh...worst still, he sang damn well. Piangz...frm Jacky Cheung to Fei Yu Qing...all can! He realli sang like Fei Yu Qing for e song Qian Li Zi Wai. Urs truly is ultimately impressed. I guess I am e worst. :P Btw...there is 6 of us. I sang onli a few songs...most of e songs were spoilt by his 'intro' n rubbish tokin. Oh well...too bad...*whispers to 'mum'* Haiz...sigh.

To b frank, I love my IAP. So much so tat I am lookin forward to Mondae. Even though e work load is alot...it makes me crazy @ times. But...everyone can see tat I am enjoyin myself alot. They claims tat I seems to b enjoyin my IAP more than e person b4 me. Though...I like to give my sup a sad look when he gives me work. HAHA. It is jus a joke. Y I like it so much? Get to joke wif my sup...get to gossip wif my colleagues...get to OT n joke wif my manager. On top of tat, I get to claim my OT. HAHA! How nice... I realli cant bear to leave. I tink I will cry on my last dae. I tot of stayin...I tot of his wish for me...I am stuck in between.

Heehee...I noe my whole post is abt my male sup n work. No choice ah...now my life revolves ard there. :P Do bear wif me. Cos he realli treat me damn damn nice. I tink it has reach e max liao. Anythin more than tat...pple will start to sae liao. Now...oredi got pple sae liao? I dunno.

Time to crack my head...report report report! Jia you!