Stress over Exams
Here to rant a little. :P I need to relax! I find myself forgotten wat I studied b4 e common test for one of my modules. Dunno y...I jus cant remember a single bit of how to do it. So...gotta start frm square 1! It is realli freakin me out. Relax!!! I am damn stressed out. Can feel my whole body muscles in a 'fight or flight' mode. Mayb it is due to e fact tat I wanna get an 'A' for tis module. Hence...I told myself I MUZ do well. Givin myself stress as a result. I noe I got to score better...cos I onli got a 'B' now. I noe I can push it to an 'A'. Cant let myself die in tis sem...last sem liao. Muz do well!
My frens keep askin me y am I so stress up?! I looked stress to them. (tats wat they sae) I tink it got to do wif e amt of stress I am givin myself. I noe I am a person who has veri high expectations of herself. :P I mayb lenient to others in terms of their failure...but not to myself. Cos I noe I can do better than tat...I jus need to push myself abit more. Then it jus gets abit more n more n more...LOL! Never sastisfied...4eva hungry for better performance. Sumtimes...I asked myself, issit bcos tat I hardly get praised no matter how well I performed which leads to e never dying thirst for better performance? Hopin to get praised by e rite pple eventually?! I dunno. Mayb.
Alot of tots came across my mind these daes. Relationships...frenships...all kinds of ships...might hav titanic ship oso! *lame* Who r worthy to b kept as frens? Who r meant to b jus acquaintance? <-- I tink I got e wrong spelling...who cares? Guys...men...do they matter? *smack forehead* My frens sae I like guys who can protect me. HAHA. I guess so...so tat I wont b hurt or brave thru horrible experiences in life anymore. I got enoff of them to write a novel. I jus wanna take a long long break frm all these.
Frens...ha! Pple hav been tokin bt tis particular frenship of mine. I noe I noe...everyone hopes to see improvement between me n her. But it jus tat I find myself hard to believe in wateva thing she sae anymore. I got to sae I am pessimistic abt wat she sae...but every time...it jus turns out as I wat expected it to b. No surprises. I am feelin sick of it. I hear myself screamin "Enoff" in my head whenever pple try to tok to me abt her. Jus let me b...for e time being. I am tired. I alwaes believe in one thing...if it is meant to turn out better, time will tell. Let time show me n tell me.
I may look fine to u...
Tats bcos I try to cover tat wound wif gauze...
I am not as strong as u tink I am...
I hope sumone can heal tat wound in me...
A wound tat has been there for yrs...
It feels like a nitemare...
I cant walk out of it...
I feel trapped...
I hope to find sumone who I trust n feel close enoff to share e other side of me
To share my sorrows n lead me out e darkness
To lend me a shoulder to lean on n cry on