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28 July 2006

Guys
Decided to take a break todae. HEEHEE! Jus came back frm my cousin's BBQ not too long ago. Got exposed to MAN! I muz sae they r MAN rather than GUYS. HAHA! Not bcos of age. But they r realli different. E 'stability' n 'security' feelin is there. Like u can foresee a marriage. U dun hav to worry cos u noe they will protect u if there is any danger. Not wif guys...u onli see a short relationship...one which MIGHT or might not last. E 'stability' feelin is jus not there. I cant realli sae y they r not there. But...it jus feels like it. The standard of my ideal guy went up again. LOL! Hmm...recently my perception of guys is changin. Like wat is being gentleman...e standard jus gets higher n higher. :P Tats bcos when u r hangin out wif guys who r gentleman(means to sae guys whom I am hangin out wif r gentleman! Ur shld feel flattered sia! LOL!), u realise how horrible it is to hang out wif guys who r not being gentleman! It realli makes a thousand difference. Now...I find myself cant tahan guys who r not gentleman anymore! Last time...I dun realli noe e definition of it...so I was sastisfied wif wateva it is. NOW...no more! U realli feel much more appreciated wif gentleman guys. U oso feel so good abt urself. I guess it is important to make other pple feel good abt themselves. It realli helps in ur human connection. Hates guys who makes me feel crappy n stupid. Small little gestures jus impress me more than those large ones.

I dunno y I crapped so much. But I am jus impressed wif wat I saw jus now. I feel tiny...not in terms of size. But in terms of tinkin...realli gets me tinkin if e guys of my age who I perceive as good guys r realli e good guys pattern anot. Mayb like wat many sae...I haven realli seen a good one yet. Waitin to see one...how shld one b like? I am realli curious!

No doubt u left me a realli good impression.
E zest in u impressed me...
ur sense of humor...
how gentleman u r...
makes me feel welcomed...
notices tat I make a comment when no one did...
copyin my little actions...
I wanna sae more...
I wanna express myself more...
I wanna expose my character more...
BUT...I am alwaes TOO shy to do so...
I jus cant speak up...
I dunno y


I dunno y I wrote all tis...knowin tat he wont be readin it anyway. E fact is tat I still miss him when I noe I shldnt b doin it. GRR!

~ { 12:27 PM }
reflections of you and me;