Go? Dun Go?
I would sae tat I am determined to go. Or rather...I wanna go VERI badly. I tink I oredi make up my mind tat I will go. BUT...I dunno y. I jus dun feel certain. 100% certain abt goin. I dunno wat I am uncertain abt. Jus in a state of confusion. I cant even pick up wat is wrong. GRR! It leaves me feelin panicky n irritated. Cos I dun hav e luxury of time to consider abt it. I got to reply by Mon! When I tried to convince pple ard me abt it n applyin it, I was 100% sure + confirm tat I am goin. I was veri certain abt it. But @ tis crucial stage, I dunno wat leaves me feelin uncertain! Not uneasy exactly oso. I cant describe e feeling. FREAK IT! In fact, it is oredi confirm tat I am goin. I can oso sae 'NO' @ tis point in time. E decision all lies within me. I dun understand myself at all! Y IS TIS SO?! I need sumone to tok to. I guess I will tok to my mum abt it tomolo. It is burstin inside me. Wats more e offer sounds super attractive sia! I dunno wat is stoppin me. Seriously. I forsee myself goin...but I dunno y when I seriously go tink abt it, I jus feel uncertain. Or issit uneasiness? Everyone ards me sae 'Go lah! Its a good opportunity!' Except my mum, dad n aunt. I noe my parents dun wanna me to go. But they dun wish to obstruct me. Not onli tat, they noe I am veri stubborn if I make up my mind. I noe my aunt will b worried sick abt my safety. She sae she wanna to b able to see me. Sigh. Tat statement realli touched my heart. TELL ME WAT TO DO?!