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21 June 2006
Tired of Feelin
I feel so tired. I am tired of feelin things goin on ard me. Dun worry...nothin BIG happened. I am jus tired of feelin e same way for so long. I told myself tis morning while waiting for e bus tat it is e in past. Everythin is over. Situations has changed...u ought to move on. But u din. There is tis statement made by a character in one of e serial drama. I felt like her. Stuck! She said sumting which makes me asked myself over n over again. She sae tat it is possible to get over it...it is jus up to u whether u wanna do anot. I once said "I can never get over it". Issit bcos I din wanna let go of those memories? Or issit tat it is realli impossible to let go? I keep askin myself y am I keepin those memories so close to myself? I dunno either. It is pointless...meaningless. I jus cant bear. It hurts too much. Which hurts more? Clingin onto sumting u noe u will never get or lettin go of it?

It is a no wonder y my lect mate comments tat I always look tired. No matter how much I sleep...I still feel tired. Even if I turn in early, it dun make me look fresh e next dae. Instead, it MIGHT make me feel more sleepy! Mentally I am so disturbed. I cant sleep well...dream after dream.

Wat makes me feel even more disturb is when I found out a fren of mine seems to b avoidin me. I dunno if I am over sensitive or wat. I hope so. Cos I certainly dun wish tat he is avoidin me. I cant sae I reali dun noe wat happened. But I am not sure if my assumption is rite. If it is...then I guess he needs sum time alone. I can understand tat. Cos I once experience e same thing. I jus hope tat no matter wat happens...he will understands tat I treasure tis frenship n wanna things to b like e way it is in e past. :)

Lets hope tat I will hav interesting stuff to blog after e Desaru Trip. I noe it sounds totally boring n I am bored wif my life too! LOL! Boring boring boring... I feel like goin to clubbin wif G! She came up wif tis idea...well...both of us r feelin horrible. I noe it. I jus din wanna spell it out. Sigh. I wanna tat little bit of alchohol. :( Okie...enoff of ranting. Be back soon.

~ { 1:30 AM }
reflections of you and me;