Stuck
It has been a long time since I get down to serious writtin here. Hav been crappin n puttin rubbish up here cos I hav no idea wat to write. Jus din hav e mood. I jus come across an entry by a sec skool klassmate. She was rite. It is no point in being stuck in those past memories. Movin on is a need. Btw...tat entry was for another sec skool klassmate of mine. I feel like I am being stuck in tat irritatin game...Crimson Room. (if u play b4...u noe wat I am tokin abt) I find it irritatin cos I can never get out of e room. I asked my cousin to show me how to get out of e White Room. I am totally amazed by how she did it. WOW! Alrite...back to e idea abt being stuck in past memories. I find myself being stuck in those freakin memories. If u r alwaes being stuck in e past, u r missing out all e goodies in e present. How true! I missed out e best times of my life. 7 yrs or more to b exact. 4 yrs of sec skool + 3 yrs of poly life. HAHA! Sounds serious huh? I tried hard to evaluate upon myself wats e root of my own problem. I noe I hav one. I hav never share wif anyone. Not even a single soul. It set me tinkin when I came across an article on a mag e other dae. I wanna walk out of e room tat keep me in there for 7yrs. It is gonna b a BIG step for me. I dunno if I can realli get out of it. I noe I will tend to tink of e unhappy things tat happened b4. Those past experiences tat haunts me every now n then. I noe I cant accomplish it myself. I need help. Wat kind of help do I need? A psychiatrist? A fren? I dunno which is more appropriate. I hav been so used to livin in tat shadow. Wat makes me more assertive abt e problem in me is when YW told me abt tis course mate of hers. I din noe y it hit me so hard. I wanna tink more into it. I feel lost. I wanna a compass to show me e way out. Out of tis shadow...

Finally...I got to meet up wif YW todae! It is alwaes great to meet up wif her. I learn things frm her n I feel realli comfortable. I am jus myself. I mean...how many of ur frens can make u feel tat way? U dun hav to cover up tat ugly side of u. U r jus who u r. Toks lots of things...not realli anyone's prob. Since I solved most of mine...EXCEPT...tat BIG + DARK secret of mine. Went shoppin too! But we din realli shop...we wanna tok more than shoppin! E onli thing I missed was sittin in Coffee Bean wif her. Sigh. No Coffee Bean in Bugis! :( E ambience is better @ coffee bean than starbucks. More country feelin n cosy. E ice chocolate drink is better @ coffee bean too! I love it! :D

I realli wanna blog more abt my tots. But...I dunno y I jus cant seems to find e rite words to express my feelin. Its in a mess! I feel empty too. Direction-less. (is there such a word?) Nothin in particular to look forward to...even though I tried to make myself look forward to e trip to Desaru. BUT...sumhow, it jus dun interest me TAT much. I miss e feelin of laughin. Long time since I hav a good laugh till my tummy aches.

Haiz...I guess I will jus end here. I dunno how to express them into words. Be back soon. :)