Gettin Better
Life is gettin better. :) At least, I hav sum special events to look forward to! Goin to Malaysia for a dae to eat durians on my 2 week break. :D I am realli lookin forward to it. I will get to see fireflies oso! Aww...tats so romantic! Too bad I dun hav a bf wif me to spend such a dae together. :P Sad to sae...I got no time for romance rite now. Too busy n caught up wif work. Husband = BF = Work. Heehee... Suppose to go for a dian xin feast tomolo...in celebration of Mother's Dae. However, I dun tink mum is free to make time for it. It will a big rush! I noe it is veri late...but e restaurants r fully booked on e peak seasons. But it is e tot tat counts isnt it? :) Not to forget, I intend to go for e marathon which is 5km organised by e SHAPE magazine. Haha... Wanna test myself a little n I got to admit I wanna e goodies in e goodies even more. They will hav a timer to time ur timing. Cool huh? I intend to chiong for 2.5km. Cos NAPFA is 2.4km. So...it kinda help me gauge for my NAPFA. Heehee... Sounds totally exciting huh? But all these hav a price to pay! $_$ Gonna b broke man. I tink it is worth it cos e daily work load is killin me softly. Wif all these events in mind, it kinda helps to push me to work hard so tat I can enjoy myself thoroughly in tat event. Also, wif e amt of work, there is no other time n ways I can spend those $$ I hav earned thru workin. I find tat it is meaningless to keep all e $$ earned n not get to enjoy wat life has to offer. :D

Lots of events took place ever since skool reopens. Most of them realli put me into test...emotionally n mentally. But...I guess I hav gotten over e hurdle. I am realli thankful for wateva e situation is rite now. Went to pray on Wednesdae to give thanks. Had a small shoppin trip oso. Got a top which is realli cheap! Wahaha...makes me realli happy tat I got such a bargain. (I noe I sound like sum auntie...I bcomin one in fact! :P) Tons n tons of work...never endin. So much so tat I cant help but to get myself an organiser todae. In tis way, I wont forget those impt datelines n helps me to organise my stuff. Yippee!

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I love to engage myself in family outings. Haha... Cos I get to strengthen e bondin between me n other family members. There is one comin up on Sun. We r goin to send bro off to China for his 12 daes exchange programme. :) I hope it will b reali a good time to sit down n tok to noe each other better in terms of expectations n mutual understandin. Not to 4get, I hope I can bring up my idea for OIAP again n see if I can find a solution to accomodate my parent's concerns. I noe tat they care for me which is y they r worried abt my safety. Yet, I tink it is an opportunity tat I never wanna miss. It is a opportunity tat I tink will help me to broaden my perceptions abt things tat is goin on ard me. I oso see it as an opportunity to put myself to test my discpline n how independent I am. I believe I will learn alot more when I hav to live my life alone. Things like how to cope wif life alone n juggling between fun, work n housekeepin r sum stuff I noe I will never learn in Singapore. I noe I will b too dependent on my parents. =X

I guess takin a different approach towards life does helps to shape myself to become a better person. :P I used to b so afraid of challenges in life. I am afraid tat I might fail. In another words, I am someone who cant take failures easily. Now, I love to challenge myself so that I can find out more abt myself. Wat r my talents...wat r my limits...wat I dun wanna achieve in life. I might not noe wat I wanna achieve in life but I noe wat I dun wanna b. I am tryin to express myself better. Sumtimes, I care for pple ard me but I dun like to sae anythin abt it. Now, I am tryin to show more concern to pple ard me. I am tryin to dare myself to speak wat I truly feel inside me.

?!?!?!
Heehee...I dunno wat to put as for e title sia. Now waitin for e d/l-ing of a game to finish. :P I need to play abit n relax abit. Hav been feelin damn stress out for e several weeks ever since skool reopen. Everydae oso hav work to do...everydae come home to do hw. CAN U BELIEVE IT? I myself cant believe tat I am so disciplined to do so. Actually...I din tink abt it. I jus come home n tell myself to do work after watchin e tv. Dun dare to tink how terrible it feels...if not, I wont do liao!

Life has been full of downs ever since skool reopens. I cried...I cursed n sweared...I complained...I rant...I did wateva I can to make myself feel more relax. It was bad as I cant eat n sleep well. I dreamt abt work...n more work! Bleahx. Finally...things r takin for a good change. I am more relaxed now. :D Now givin myself a small break... 休息是为了走更长远的路... :P

I feel myself changin. I cant believe wat is comin out of my mouth these daes. I seriously cant believe it. It din sound like me. I am veri sure I dun sae such things. I cant believe I am so assertive abt myself these daes. Maybe make-up does helps to boost one's confidence. If it realli helps...then I am goin to continue. HAHAHA! :P Tat oso means to say *wave goodbye to $$* But I tink it is worth it! Cos u need to b confident of urself in wateva u do in order to succeed! (at least tats wat I strongly believe in) Pple whom I noe who r confident of themselves r successful. Pple ard u will oso be attracted to u due to ur confident aura! Wahaha... Personally...I am more attracted to pple who r confident of themselves. *shy*

Stressed OUT
Yr 3 is definately not a smooth sailing journey. Wif lots of work n lots more to understand frm those alien modules, it makes life seems so DULL! Wake up...go skool...come home...do work...sleep. Tats e basic routine. I am so sick of it. Wats more...it is onli week 3 or 4 now! MY GOD! Not onli tat, FYP is totally drivin me crazy. I am so amazed by how pple ard me look so relaxed. NO STRESS! Can play n play summore without a single bit of guilty-ness. Teach me how b4 I head for hougang to stay there. (mental hospital) I am mentally n physically drained. Nothin left in me to keep me movin. I feel like givin up tis whole damn thing. It is too much a struggle for me. Not being able to eat n sleep well...HELP! I realli cant wait for e entire thing to b over n done wif. THEN...off I go to ATTACHMENT! YIPPEE! :D

After much evaluation of e current situation, I finally come to a final decision last nite. It wasnt easy comin to tis decision. But I am glad I made it. :D All e best to me... I noe it is not goin to b a easy journey...one which I will b crushed into pieces...cryin thru e nites hopin sumone will b there to help. But I believe I will make it thru...n stand up once again. *E thing tat doesnt kills u makes u stronger onli*

PS: I believe tat e brain is a powerful tool. When u set ur mind on it...u can do it. It can makes u do things u never tot u can do. E brain is goin to b my drivin force for tis sem. :) Not to forget, I hav my family members who is supportin me behind me quietly. They makes my dae seem brighter after a long n hard dae @ skool. :D Thanks once again.

Tis msg is for u
I noe u r frsutrated wif me for being tat gan cheong spider. I jus wanna things to b done instead of draggin it over time. There are tons to b done. We r jus on e veri tip of it. I jus hope tat we can meet our schedule or better still, be ahead of it. In tis way, we dun hav to panick @ e veri end. There will b lots of compilin work n calculations to b done. Needless to sae, we need to handle other modules as well. Tats e veri reason y I am so gan cheong. I hope u understand tis. I dun wanna waste time bocs I noe every one of us hav other stuff to do oso. So y not we finish wat is supppose to b done on hand quickly n nicely, then u can do anythin u like after tat? I tot it would sound realli gd to anyone outta. Tats wat I wanna achieve onli. :)

EQ
My EQ has been rather low these daes. I dunno wat went wrong. PMS? But @ least I am glad tat I am back to e 'Complaint Queen' tat I used to b. LOL! My fuse get blown easily. Mayb it is bcos I haven been able to let out e frustrations, it jus explodes one dae. Haha... Life is 10 times easier tis way. Sum time back...it was horrible. I cant seem to tok abt my problems. I dun feel like tokin abt them...I dunno y I am upset. I dun even noe wat I am upsettin over. It jus sounds like I suffered frm Depression. @ tat point in time, I felt horrible n nothin perks me up.

Now, things r lookin better n I am tryin my veri best to get used to e life I am livin rite now. Also, I am tryin to find wat my talents r. After livin for 19 yrs, I hav yet to noe wat r my talents. I tink tat it is kind of sad not to noe wat ur talents r n how to let ur talents shine. :D

Bad Guy
In life, we hav many many different types of tasks. In our daily life, sum task r to b done in grp. Eg: Skool Project. As for e others, they r meant to b done in solo. Eg: Bathin! I bet u wont wanna anyone to help u wif tat! Tasks which are meant to b done in grps requires certain qualities out of e grp. They r...
1) Cooperation
2) Communication
3) Consideration
4) Leadership

Every single quality is important in order for e task to b done. E onli quality tat I reali dread over is leadership. Cos I realli dun like it. I dun mind being lead. I dun like to lead. Yet, in life, there r times whereby u got NO choice. E previous experience wif my IS mates was kind of bad. I realli pull my hair over it. Tis time...it reali makes me wonder if I am too serious or too gan cheong or wat. Sumhow...pple ard me seems more relax than I am. Yet, whenever I see pple workin away, I cant help but to panick. E peer pressure in terms of skool work is sumting tat I cant seems to handle well. Nonetheless, I oso like to slack. I wont wanna slack tis semester. I hav slack enoff for e past 4 semesters. It is time to give my best shot in e hope to get into a local Uni @ e end of e 3 yrs. Overall GPA: 3.3 is my goal. I am way behind it. I used to tink tat onli wif a GPA of 3.5 then u can enter a local Uni. It seems like times hav changed.
PS: I cant remember who is e lecturer who told me u need @ least 3.3 to enter one. LOL!

Since I hav made up my mind not to slack tis sem, (though I jus slack abit todae...too tired...din sleep well) I kind of turn 'ON' my serious mode. I dunno if I am gettin a little demandin anot. Or I shld b tat demandin in order for things to work out? I noe I can b veri demandin when I am dead serious. But there is alwaes a reason behind wat I impose. I hate being e Bad Guy afterall. Being e Bad Guy is realli not tat easy, esp. when pple ard u dun seems to see e reasons y u r so demandin. @ least, if they r understandin enoff, it makes life easier. :) I am reali glad tat Charlotte kind of see y I keep pushin them for IS. We r in e same klass for WISP again. It realli warms my heart when I heard her sae tat she tinks tat I am dependable to work wif. Sumone who will do e work. *thick-skinned* In another words, that would oso mean tat I am e sai kang of e grp. :(

Tats all for now...back to research for FYP! Screw tis project!