Jus a tot
Since young, many pple sae tat I look like my dad. Some even sae tat I look jus like a photocopy of him. Well, if u actually go n investigate wat r e similarities, it is bcos I hav e same type of eyes as my dad's. I am thankful tat I hav eyes tat look like his. Cos his eyes r bigger as compared to my mum's my fav part of my body is none other than my eyes. =X However, I din like e idea tat I look like my dad. I hated tat comment actually. Cos I dun wanna to b mistaken as a "boy". Tis is often so as I used to hav veri short hairstyle when I am young.
As I grow up, I started to hav long hair in e hope tat I wont hear any comments like 'u look jus like ur dad'. But still, I do hear my relatives or outsiders makin such a comment. Come to tink of it, my dad n I not onli hav similarities in e eyes but oso in our character. We r veri much e same in terms of expressin ourselves n some characteristics. Mum once told me tat Dad likes to bottom things up upon himself. When I heard tat, I tot it would b kinda sad for pple who r like Dad as I feel tat bottomin things up within urself makes one's life veri sad. Upon self evaluation, I realised tat I am jus like him. I dun realli tell my loved ones wat is upsettin me so much. I like to give them a impression tat I am livin well even if I am not. I will try to wear tat smile on my face. It is jus a side of me tat is never been revealed to anyone. I dun wanna them to worry for me. I dun wanna b a burden to anyone.
I find myself havin a huge prob in expressin my feelings. Wat I yearn for is sumting onli I, myself noes. It is not bcos I dun share tat wif anyone. But rather, my actions n my feelings dun tally. I yearn for sumting todae. When it realli took place, I rolled my eyes unconsciously instead. It is onli after e whole incident then I realised wat I hav done. E impression tat I hav created to pple ard me. I can onli sae...wat is done cannot b undone.
On a side note, I wonder how many pple reads tis blog of mine. Cos I noe sum pple find my blog thru pple who linked me. If one can find me in tis way, others could do e same too. I wont sae I hav a small social network. But it doesnt meant tat everyone in my social network r pple who I can consider as frens. Some onli can b acquaintance. Some r not meant to b ur frens...they r there to let u noe tat there r evil pple in tis world. Hence, it makes me wonder...Out of those who read, how many reads my blog bcos they realli care abt wat I tink or wat I got to sae. Out of those who reads, how many reads my blog bcos they r jus KPO to noe how is my life. Upon readin thru those rough patches of my life, out of those who r jus KPO, how many feel happy bcos I am not happy. I will never noe e answer. It is like askin who r evil or bad. Pple who r evil or bad will never sae they r n they dun hav a tag wif them to help u differentiate who r e ones.
So...I am considerin if I shld close tis down. I might close tis down n find a new place to start afresh all over again. If u see me stop bloggin for more than 2 weeks, then it might hav been tat I hav stop bloggin @ tis place. :)
PS: Dun link me or ask me for e new add. U dun hav to ask me for it...I will give u if I wanna. Cos I will onli give to those who realli care abt me. :)