Hav u ever...
Hav u ever experience these?

"What happened to ya?"
"Y r u like tat?"
Eyes starin @ ya machiam u sum alien on tis planet called earth.
Weird glances.
Pple avoidin/afraid of ya cos u r "different" frm them.
Pple tokin behind ya or rather gossipin abt ur "differences".

To me...none of those above is unfamiliar. I experience them when I first step into skool. Not pri skool...but nursery. U see aunties gossipin their hearts out n e eagerness in their eyes to dig out more gossips abt ya. Y do I hav such a tot of all these now? I am almost 3/4 done wif e book tat my cousin wrote. It was a touchin story abt his life...teared thru e chapters. Much of e book was tokin abt his emotions...I felt so much like him. Being a rebel in e family. Seen as e 'devil' among relatives whom dun realli noe me well. He oso touched on e experiences he had to go thru. It jus hit me so HARD. I cant help but feel weak. I am like 100 times or even a 100,000 times weaker than him in terms of mentality. E positive attitude towards life...takin things in his stride. I am jus way way behind him. I hav veri much same experiences as he do. Veri much e same. @ least those mentioned above...I experience them one by one since young. I dun tink I need to explain further abt e 'differences' mentioned. Ever since e veri last operation, I tot I hav a new lease of life. No more such probs. Or @ least I will b veri much like any other 'normal' pple walkin ard on this earth. I was wrong. When sum1 feedback to me abt e thing I dread most...I felt like e nitemare is not over. Its here AGAIN. E thing I fear most is e fact tat pple r avoidin me due e "differences". I cant help feelin veri distubed. To me...it jus makes things so hard for me to make more frens. I feel inferior. I dunno if u can accept me for who I am. Its not my choice. If I can choose...I wont wanna it tis way. No one can comprehend tat. Or rather...pple jus din tink abt tat point. Do u actualli tink e pple who r "different" frm ya wanna it tis way? To stand out in e population?

He is realli a million times better than me. I got to bow down. Cos of e fact tat he could handle sumting which I cant handle for e past 15yrs of my life. I still cant handle it well. "Y r u like tis" --> tis qn was posted to me when I was in nursery if my memory din fails. As compared to him, he conquered it in jus a matter of months. Not yrs. Klassmates of mine loves to ask. Be it out of curiosity or jus plain KPO. He handles it well within himself. I dunno how he went abt it. I jus cant. It hurts like mad. Its jus like sumone takin a knife to cut out an old wound. A wound which u tried so hard to stitch it up n cover it up wif tons of foundations n concealer to lighten e scar. As I grow up...pple ard me r more sensitive. They learnt not to ask such qns. Cos they noe it hurts. I cant smile like e way he would when approached wif such circumstances. His mentality is way stronger than mine. I wish to tok to him more abt it. But I fear of remindin him of e past as I myself noe it best how much it hurts.

There r times when my tots jus run wild. It runs to places where I never wanna explore. Never. Cos it jus hurts too much. Y me? Y choose me? Y cant it b sumone else? Y do I hav to go thru all these shits when others dun hav to? Wat did I do in my past life to deserve tis? These qns come never endin to me. Cryin din help. Durin one of my experiences in stayin in e hospital, a mum came askin me qns if I did ever gone thru wat her daughter did in her skool. Her daughter is veri much like me...being "different" frm others. If I did ever feel ostracised due to e 'differences'. It jus feels like she smack e truth rite into my face. I been thru them. No one noes it best except me. Cos I din tell anyone...not even my parents noes. Not even my closests ones. I din noe y I din tell them. But I jus try to take it in my stride. Occasionally...releasin them thru cryin. I am thankful my mum wasnt ard then when she asked me. I din wanna my mum to noe.

Pple hav tis high tendency of sayin "I understand how u feel/wat u hav gone thru". Cos it is jus too easy to sae so n too comfortin for e person on e receivin end. Dun tell me u can understand how I feel when u din experience all those mentioned above. Dun tell me u can try to put urself in my shoes. Cos e fact is u can never realli comprehend tat when u din experience it urself. As much as I try to understand n put myself in e shoes of e writer, to b frank, I still cant realli comprehend wat he went thru for sum parts. I seriously cant imagine it. It is jus so out of e world.

They dun need ur sympathy.
They jus wanna ur acceptance.
They jus wanna ur understandin.
Tats all they r askin for...issit too much?