Grr
I am jus feelin sad. I wanna find sumone to tok to. As I look thru my msn list, I come to realise tat I cant find anyone to tok to. :( E person whom I can relate to is oso in BAD mood. Cant possibly go n grumble to her mah...I need to listen to her instead. Cos tats e way e female population works...bad mood --> grumble. After tat, she will feel better. I jus need a ear which is reliable enoff to keep all of e contents to themselves. :)
Upon communicatin wif pple, I find myself stuck @ expressin myself. I jus cant express e way I wanna. ?_? Y issit so sia?! Sigh. Feelin irritated wif myself. I wish to show concern...I wish to relax n play. But...it turn out tat I look more tense than ever. I seems more bo chup than ever. I wish to tok...ended up...I listen more than I ever tok.
Oso...I realised tat I feel pai seh SO easily. E uncle or guy of e store jus teases me a little. I oredi wanna hide my face liao. Cant take it. I nearly wish there is a hole in e ground...so tat I can hide my face there. :P
I did sum stuff tat realli makes me feel uncomfortable. I lied to Mum. Tis is bad. I hate it. I used to b such a good liar. Now, as I no longer wish to lie, I become CMI in lying. Realli bad. I almost let e cat out of e bag. Mum sure feel suspicious. I am a lousy liar now. :( Mum alwaes seems to hav radar everythin to sense abt my whereabouts n if I can lyin. She is good @ it sia.
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E followin paragraph...if u dun understand, its okie. I am jus lookin for a place n see e need to let it out.
I hate feelin tat way. It makes me feel realli evil. It kills. Yet, I cant help it. I jus cant hide how I feel. It is alwaes written over my face. I guess not onli wat happened dampen my mood...but e dreams I hav for e past 2 daes oso. It kinda kills my mood. I am so easily affected by tiny stuff in my life. :P
Y?! AH~~! I jus cant take it sia. It makes me so PISSED. I tried damn hard to control tat emotion. It is killin me. I jus got to admit I am sensitive lah. Sumtimes...abit overly. It affects me so badly...tat I wanna cry. 对别人宽容,就是对自己残忍。 I am not as brave as tat person's' to do all tat. I dare not. If I could...I tink things might turn ugly over time. I dun wanna to put anyone in a spot. Reali dun wanna...cos being in a spot is irritatin. I understand. Yet...I am feelin horrible. I seriously dun understand y pple hav to do tat. GRR! Shld hav took 74 home...then I can b alone to tink thru stuff. Haiz... Jus take it I tink too much. Its all on my part...my fault. :(
我不知道我可以忍多久。。。
我真的不知道。。。
我好想。。。
AH~~~!