Trust
Wat is TRUST afterall? Can any1 outta reali b trusted? If it is so, then y do I meet so many who cant b trusted? I tot trust is sumting so fragile n sacred. Cos once u break it...it is reali hard to mend it back. Sumtimes...it can b so bad tat e reaction is irrevesible. Then do pple still dun treasure it? It is hard to earn trust rite? Or am I onli e stupid one outta tat my trust can b earned so easily? Tellin e truth is best but we cant deny e fact tat e truth hurts. Y let me find out all tis? Esp. when I feelin full of hopes abt pple ard me. Y?! I alwaes tot trust is believin in wat e person sae. Or did I get e definition wrong? I alwaes tot tat tis guy fren of mine was tellin me e truth abt tis part of his life. Rather...his love life. A werid way we got to noe each other. Yet...he is now tellin it is onli a STORY. Is he tellin me e truth? If it is, then y did he tell me e STORY in e first place? I feel so stupid to hav believe him all tis while abt e entire story. I feel so stupid tryin so damn hard to help him get out of e situation he was in. I put in all my efforts. Was he jus testin me out? Although most of e times...we teased each other...we crap...we exaggerate stuff. There were times we tok serious stuff. Is tis all part of a BIG lie? Wat other stuff did he lie to me abt? Am I e stupid one to hav told him e truth? Nothin but e truth. Then who in e world can we trust? I tried n tried to trust pple ard me...filterin e good n bad ones. Y do I still hit e pits? I am tired. Issit bcos I look like a gal who is nice to cheat or play ard like a toy? I dun wanna b treated as a toy for anyone to experiment or play wif. Y issit pple whom I called frens treat me tis way? Do I deserve tis? Or I am jus a toy? Y choose me?

E no. of wounds on me...I cant seems to heal them. As I heal one, I get another one. When will I ever get healed of all wounds? When will I get healed fully? I am tired of all tis. Give me a break. I need a breather.

I wonder y it seems like there is a piece of glass separatin e both of us. We used to b able tok abt anythin. I dun hav to feel awkward or weird abt wat I realli wanna sae. Y issit diff for now? Issit e desire to help her is too much? Or simply I am not capable enoff to help? Or issit there r stuff in life others jus shldnt interfere? Y do we jus lose e affinity between us? Wat is e thing tat comes between us? Will we drift further apart as time goes by? Will I able to revert back to wat it is in e past? I miss those times so badly. I can never seems to tok like how I used to b. I feel so afraid tat I will hurt her. Is growin up e culprit of all these? Issit bcos as u grow up, u come to realise how u shld sae certain stuff...how u shldnt jus sae it n hurt e other party? AH~~! I hav a never-endin list of qns.

PS: (I dun even rememeber if I ever told him abt tis blog of mine.) If u ever happen to chance upon tis...I reali hope tat u r jus lyin to me tat e story is fake. IF tat story of urs is realli FAKE, I can onli sae... I din lie abt anythin tat I hav told ya. I am utterly disappointed wif ya. I feel tat I wasted my time, my effort n my $$ on e no. of smses to help u get out of e situation in which u placed urself in wateva story u hav come up wif. I guess I hav trust e wrong person again.