Instincts
Lots of tots todae. MIGHT b a long post. =X But I am not goin to spend too much time here. Got tons of work to do. Imagine tis...I am havin project/report meetin for consecutive 3 daes. Eeks. I am gettin so sick of rackin my brains everydae. It is so tiring. E worst is todae's...I hav almost no idea wat they were tokin abt. My contribution is SO LITTLE! Haiz...feelin guilty. Tats e reason I volunteer to type e stuff out n oso give me time to look thru n digest. HAHA!
Was tokin to G todae abt sum stuff. She told me her perception abt sum matters. I mean...I dun admit tat it din cross my mind. I was so shocked tat she tot so too when she told me. I was screamin 'NO!' all e way. I reali hav no wish of involvin myself into e matter. But as it seems...I cant do anythin. Haiz...screw myself. It is jus sum gut instinct.
Sumting jus came to me. I started suspecting. I mean...I am e super duper sensitive kind of gal. I can pick up stuff @ e flick of e fingers. Even though...I can b veri dumb n blur @ times. Cos I need u to b straight forward then I can understand wat u wanna. Most of e times...my instinct tells me abt e stuff lah. I hate being so sensitive. I oso hate my instincts. They r jus so damn rite. -.-" Kill me for tat. Worst...my instinct comes in e form of gut feelin. I hav instincts for bad stuff nia. U might b tinkin...wat e heck! I did try to ignore it. BUT...unfortunately...when I found out abt e truth, it is jus like wat my instincts tells me so. HAIZ...Y ISSIT SO?! Issit tat a gal's instincts is there to protect her frm harm? I hav no idea. For my case...it is there to protect me frm harm...reali. As much as I wish to ignore it, I hav learnt my lessons...NEVER ignore it! So...mayb I shld start doin sumting for e 2 stuff I am feelin rite now. :( I am wishin n hopin so much tat I am sensing e wrong stuff. PLS...I cant imagine IF all is TRUE! I will b in deep shit!
All I wish for is...A simple life. Y issit gettin so complicated once again? Y muz my probs ALWAES involve so many pple? Did I drag them in or they were jus there? ARGH! I tot I sort of got out of it? I took so long to get used to wat it is now. I took so much effort to get to where it is now. Simple life as it seems...but benealth it, it dun reali seems so. :( I was still tinkin sum time back it will simple cos wateva thingy I am involved rite now onli consists of me n sumone else. E good thing is I dun see e person like for 1+ yrs liao?! Great! I tot. But I 4got my life...dun onli consists of me n my family. It consists of others ard me...they can get u into shits too! *bang*
I am startin to wonder if matters of e heart could onli b shared among ur family. Ur frens? Can? Issit too personal? Many of us hav diff definitions for e word 'LOVE'. Wats urs? One of my contacts on my msn has tis nick --> Love is jus like a rumour. Many toks abt it...but no one actualli noes wat it means. Haha! I tot it was kinda true. All of us view it differently. Love is selfish. I noe many dun agree. But how many of us can truly sae tat they will let their love ones go? (to any where?) Not many can do it...cos it hurts like crazy. Mayb tis is e veri reason as to y I cant let go. Cos I dun wanna let go. I cant bear. But holdin on to it...will it make any diff? Nope. Time to wake up...LING LING!!!
I realli hate dreams...it started wif one. A stupid crush tat I cant seem to see e end point. It ignites again over a dream. Y issit alwaes dream? Darn. I jus hate tis!
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I remember clearly u once told me tis...--> whoever I like...tat person is a fortunate guy. Can I tell u tis? --> U r e most fortunate one outta. Cos it never seems to end. I wish it can. I hope it can. I told myself not to cry over u. I failed time after time... I jus cant promise myself tat I wont cry. Even though time might fade ur memories, u might hav forgottn wat I hav promised when we meet again. Will we? I wont forget wat I promised ya. I am sorri tat I cant fulfilled one of e promises. Tats to get over it. I noe I need to put a full-stop to it. I am still tryin...I dun tink he noes abt tis blog. Thank god. LOL!
