2 weeks of Rollar Coaster
Been MIA for 2 weeks. Haha...cos of e crazy schedule loh. For e time being, it is OVER! But it will b back once e next week ends. :( 2 person hav commented not seeing me for 2 weeks. Heehee...does it meant ur r missin me?! *thick-skinned* 3 inch thick! LOL! No worries...I am BACK! Wahaha... I will b appearin once again. But I will b back to hidin soon. :P
I am jus back frm e pippin hot place. Not chiong-ing place but a place filled wif e festive mood due e no. of aunties grabbin stuff n choosing them. E family pic was all ard me. E love u see when a family shops ard for e common stuff. I feel so hyper! I am so awake now! For once, I am feelin awake...I hav been feelin dead for a long time. I jus cant bare to leave e place. Not chinatown btw...it was a supermarket @ West Coast. Sheng Shiong Supermarket. E prices were low lah...tats y. U see pple goin in @ 11.30pm?! It is madness! E supermarket is open thru e nite. I jus love e feel of e festive season. Mum loves to sae I like to chiong. (not clubbin...but chiong for activities) I do love it. But sumtimes...I jus love e quietness. Haha...I noe I am weird. :P
I am still havin phobia of wat happened during CNY last yr. Of cos...I dun wish it to happen ever AGAIN. But...e fact is e prob is still there. It was not resolved. Communication is e key to resolving it. To tok it out...yet, I am so afraid to bring it up. I am afraid history will repeat itself. Lets jus hope it will NEVER ever happen. I forsee for tis yr...it wont. But I wont noe for e yrs to come.
I am feelin shitty tat I cant go pay respect to sumone. Argh! To me...ever since he passed away, I promise to myself....I make it a point to go down everytime as long as I can make it. I mean how many times do u actualli spare out e time to pay respect to sumone who is no longer wif ya? How many times can u actually hav a chance to go down? (being festival as e reason) It doesnt meant tat he is no longer ard then u can jus ignore all tis. E fact is e person did play a part in ur life. If e person din...u wont even noe e person. Esp. when e person played a impt role in ur life. Hence...it is impt to remember e person even though he is no longer ard. I tink tats e veri least u can do. Of cos...I am not sayin u jus remember e person ONLI when there is a festive. Rather...e person shld live in ur heart even if u can never see him anymore.
Apart frm e crazy schedules, there were a mixture of things tat was goin on in my life. Sum leaves me feelin puzzled...sum makes me so sad...sum makes me so disappointed...sum jus brighten my dae. E pple jus popped into my life these 2 weeks brighten my dae even though e schedule was killin me. It was crazy tat I dun even noe y I am so busy. Over wat? I keep askin myself. But I am jus busy loh. -.-" Mayb busy wif my work n my family + relative's demand of help during tis festive season.
Sumting leaves me feelin puzzled. I dunno whether to b amused or to b angry wif myself. My sec skool klassmate msn me one dae. We dun tok. E last time was abt klass outin...n tat was damn long ago. E moment I tot when I saw e msn thingy popped out, my idea is klass outing ah? I usually hav tis idea tat pple sure wanna kpo abt sum stuff. Not tat I wanna hav a negative perception of human beings. But they jus prove me rite. Prove me wrong then. We went on tokin...then she finally popped e qn she was dyin to ask me.
yang fan -- : heard u got attached?
= Li?G² = I : huh??
= Li?G² = I : since when?
= Li?G² = I : u mean my nick???
yang fan -- : haha....no
= Li?G² = I : nah...bf= work
yang fan -- : jus causally heard
WAH LIEW! I mean I cant imagine lah. My sec skool klassmate tellin me tis?! She told me she got to noe it frm my poly?! OMG! So tis piece of news actually spread like a wild fire across frm my poly to my sec skool. I cant imagine e no. of pple who noes abt it. I mean...such stuff...spreads damn fast. E fact is I am SINGLE. DUH! *shake head* Pple who noes me long enoff n still in contact shld noe tis. Pple who r close shld noe it too. It makes me feelin amused @ first. Then I got angry...wif myself. Issit sumting tat I did tat makes pple hav tis impression? If it is so, I shld take tis as a warning n reflect on my actions. Dun u tink so? As I was screamin away abt how idiotic it is, my bro made a statement...无风不起浪. Another words...if u din do anythin, pple wont sae abt u. U muz hav done sumting for pple to tok abt it. Sigh.
I am puzzled abt another matter. He was outta my life for sum time. Suddenly, he reappeared. I noe tis relationship or rather frenship is abnormal. I noe it veri well myself. I wanna to change it to e normal frenship between a guy n a gal. Or issit tat there cant b frenship between a guy n a gal?! He jus appeared once again not too long ago. I took e initiative to start tokin. I dun wanna lose contact. EVen since then...things took a change. Is history repeatin itself again? I got to admit there was a period of time...things were jus abnormal. Y do I sae it is abnormal? Tell me who will find sms wif ya frm e moment u wake up till e veri last moment b4 u sleep? Tats in e past. Tell me who in e rite mind will actually sms u @ 2+AM wif odd lookin sms-es abt e topic on 'LOVE' for a good 3 consecutive daes? Summore e other party is a guy! As for todae...I dunno yet. He has been doin it for e past 3 daes. I feel so relieved tat I return tat box of VCDs. YESH! At least...I dun owe him any stuff liao. But I noe...I still owe him many other things. E expensive gifts...I feel tat I owe him more than tat box of VCDs. Much much more... Time has flies. I hav changed. Sad to sae...we cant revert to wat it was back then due to wat he jus told me. It disappoints me badly. Mayb I will make statements like "Guys Sux" or "I hate GUYS!" one dae. LOL! I wanna so much to tell him...I jus wanna a pure normal frenship. Issit possible? How to tell him? I dun hav e slightest idea. Is he jus bored? Seekin for attention or accompany? Or there is more to it? if it is so, y does he still do it when he noes it veri well I hav sumone in mind? Or issit I am sendin wrong signals? Or issit there is more to it on my part which I din noe?! :( I shld tink over it over tis holidae. :) Wish me luck in settling tis matter. It is far too complicated.
Better stop here...I can jus go on n on n on. LOL! Got to pack my room! Its a mess! See ya! Happy New Year to ALL!