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18 December 2005
Time 2 Clear Things Up
Well...supposed to study one! Cos I wasted e entire dae todae. Went out loh. AGAIN! But I am back here again. LOL! I felt e need n e urge to clear things up...here it goes...

As I hav said time n time again. I hav many factors I need to consider. E factors r e followin...parents...my closest ones... These 2 is enoff oredi to put a BIG FAT 'NO'. Afterall...they were e ones who showers me wif love, care n concern for e past 18 yrs of my life. Some of ur told me to take risk. Apparently...@ tis moment, I feel tat I cant afford to take tis risk. Ur told me it wont fail one. Cos it NEVER fails. Yah...I heard of it over n over again. But...I jus cant place my trust into it loh. If u asked me...do I believe it? Unfortunately...I dun. If I do, I would hav placed my trust into it. It is bcos I dun believe it...tats y I dun trust it.

As I hav said b4...I personally tink tis issue is super sensitive. I am sure ur noes it too. Therefore...I dun wish to tok to my parents abt it lah. I hav absolutely no intention of spoilin e relationship between my parents n me over tis. Hence...I will try to keep myself a distance away as much as possible. As wat I heard...it will improve e relationship...ur told me abt it. I heard of it. But I noe it is bound to destroy it in e beginnin. I hav absolutely no confidence of mending it back. Cos I took a long time to achieve wat I hav now. As to wat it was like in e past, I dun wish to comment. So...as I hav heard, I shld hav confidence tat miracles will happen. Once again...e prob of trust comes in. I jus cant place my trust into it loh. Hence, I dun wanna address it. Cos to me...currently, it dun matters to me. I dun wanna risk over sumting which I tink dun matters @ tis moment. If u ask me y it does matters @ tis moment? I seriously dun hav a answer to tat qn. It jus dun matters loh.

PS: My most frank opinions...if u ask me y I dun wanna tell ya into e face, cos I simply cant do it. For e fear of offendin anyone out there...my fear list...goes on n on n on... It is super long. Writtin makes me express myself better. Speakin wise...is terrible cos it jus dun come out e way I wanna it to b. It dun makes sense to me...if tis is so, how will it b makin sense to e person I wanna sae to? Tis is oso e reason y I cant keep long eye contact wif anyone...(if u notice). I am still tryin to improve on tat aspect of me. I hope ur understand wat I am tryin to sae over here. E idea I am tryin hard to bring across. Thanks.

~ { 1:38 AM }
reflections of you and me;