<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/17110474?origin\x3dhttp://hidininthedarkcorner.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

27 November 2005

Speakin up
I am back to blog again. Haha... Jus came home not too long ago. Was a LONG dae for me todae. Tats y I look so zombie. Woke up early for discussion @ 9am. Yeah...AGAIN! Kinda makin me feel e dread of attendin it. Lets jus hope tat my birthdae week...dun hav to do tat! Aniwae...after tat, I came home to bath n changed. Went out again to meet e others @ City Hall @ 2.30pm. Yeah...so we chit chat n walk ard till abt 5.30pm whereby all e formal wear guys came. Yeah...FORMAL! Long sleeves n pants...I mean. Haha...we hav a series of different type of guys...one looks like Tin Tin (e cartoon! Well...tats B.)...2 tat looks like body guards -->R and K...(they claim...I tink more like either one is gettin married...then e other is like e partner beside e groom =X)...cos they were both wearing black n white lackin in e tie though. I tink they can MIB oso...jus lackin in glasses n e guns. HAHA! Got one who looks like waiter...dunno is who...I was blur. :P Not onli tat...we hav one who is odd one out. Haha...cos he was not in formal wear. Oh well...so we went to e concert. I would sae it was GOOD! It was COLD too! I personally like some of e songs. One of them sounds so chirpy...makes u feel happy n like in wonderland like tat. Esp. when u close ur eyes to enjoy e music...I dream of seeing e grass n e sky onli. Sounds good to b lyin there n jus enjoy lookin @ e clear blue sky?!

Was gossipin abt K and his queen. Wahaha...opps! =X I tink it was realli funny lah...esp. when I see his queen, I see a reflection of myself in e past. Laffin n laffin away. I wonder y cant I do it anymore? Issit bcos I hav lost e feel of laffin or issit tat I jus lost e sense of happiness within me? Erm...of cos...we r jus teasing K lah. Kena suan by us until veri chiam. Haiz...too bad no one was willin to help him. Who ask him everytime make me wanna throw him out of e window?! K...if u ever come across tis...enjoy e conference! Wahahaa...

Speakin up...issit so difficult? Yeah! Indeed it is. I keep askin myself...y cant I jus speak up?! I got so much to sae...but when it is realli time for me to give comments...like when pple ask me...so how do u feel? I end up givin like less than 5 words answers! Most commonly asked qn: How is ur dae? My reply: Good/ Fine / Ok lah. Pengz! Usually I give fine. Not tat I dun wanna sae more...but it jus wouldnt come out. I feel blank out. I wanna to sae how my dae has been...more details...in e end, onli one detail. Grr! I am actually angry wif myself over tis. I hope to give e key to more pple. E key which is able to open myself up more. I ask myself...issit bcos I dun feel comfortable? No. Issit bcos I am scared of history repeatin itself? Or issit I am scared of speakin up? Sayin e wrong stuff n things like tat? Well...I would sae yes to e 3 of them. Got to b more courageous. I tink I am goin to get killed soon. =X I feel bad tat other pple hav to b e one alwaes takin e initiative to ask me how am I. Cos I was like tat once. I feel sian pretty soon. Cos I had to b e one takin e initiative. I promise myself I will b e next time takin e initiative if there is a next time.

Hav u ever feel tis way? U noe u shld feel happy...but sumhow, it turn out tat u r not feelin wat u tink it shld b. Instead, u feel tat u r suppressin urself. Dun even noe y u feel tat way?! I am feelin dumb lah. Dunno wat stress am I givin myself exactly. Issit e perfectionist side of me doin all tis to myself? I noe it is not doin me good. Cos my body has shown signs of rebellion. Chest pain prob is back to haunt me. Med is not goin to help me on e long run. Esp. when it makes me feel damn tired. Headache is oso another prob tat is happenin more n more frequent in my life. I wanna see a doc e other dae...but wasnt in luck. Cos e clinic was closed by e time I reached there. Gastric wise...oso not too good. I am suspectin stress is e root of all tis troubles. RELAX...muz remind myself constantly!

Hav u ever feel tat e haversack on ur back...is so heavy tat u cant even walk anymore? It jus pulled u down...makin u sittin on e same spot...not being able to move forward? Then...u realise there are these creatures surroundin u called frens. U started to unload all e load in ur haversack. Pourin them out...to share them wif ur frens. Tats wat I am goin to do tomolo. Whee! I hope my haversack feel lighter after tomolo. Has been lookin forward to meet up wif YW. She is jus like a filing cabinet in my life. Helps me to sort out messy lookin papers all over my table (brain). She alwaes make me feel reassured after tokin to her. Makin me feel refreshed. Thanks once again for being part of my life.

I am realli tired...time to rest n gear up for tomolo meet up! I am all ready to go! See ya!

PS: Frens...if u see ur name or rather initials instead, I din wanna put names cos I was once kena bombarded by someone. Tryin to gek me for wat I blog abt sumone. Hence, in order to prevent history frm repeatin itself...I am usin initials instead. Sorry.

~ { 1:08 AM }
reflections of you and me;