Letting go
Mayb I did...mayb I din after all. I took out e box out of e drawer again...out of curiosity. I noe e contents in e box by heart. Then...u may ask...y take it out out of curiosity?! Well...cos everytime I take it out, I feel differently. Everytime I take out e items n look @ them, a different kind of feeling. For tis time...it is no diff frm e others. I din feel as sad as I was in e past. I feel nothin @ all actually. But I feel a tingle of pain when I picked up e receipt and look @ it. E date...e time...e place. All jus came back to me. I am feelin desperate to let it go...but part of me...jus tells me to hang on...for wateva reasons...I dunno.
I never dare to tell my frens my final decision. Those who noes abt tis story. Never. Cos...most likely...another round of tellin how silly I am...how foolish I am to make tis decision...blah blah blah. I never like to explain stuff esp. when I tink it is personal. I hate it when pple start to ask me y tis n tat...when e prob is veri personal. If u dun ask me...if I trust u not to go round advertising for me...I will tell u. Trust me...I will.
E other dae...someone popped me tis qn. It goes sumhow like tis...if I will mind whether my fren can help me to attain wat I achieve in life? I told him actually understandin n support is wat I am lookin for in a frenship now. Whether or not my fren can help me or not...doesnt realli matters to me. Jus like e story above...I wonder how many pple in tis world...or rather how many frens of mine will understand my final decision n support me? Most of them will sigh when they hear it. Sigh-ing over y I still cant let it go. If u hav a fren who can understand u when no one does...support u even though e whole world disagree over ur decision, I tink u jus need one of such kind of fren. Jus one will do. It is sufficient enoff for e entire life.
I actually wanna to blog sumting abt guys n gals. But I jus lost e mood to do so. Talent. Hmmm...I realli wonder wat is e hidden talent in me? Could it b sumting I never like doin? BUT...I actually hav e talent for it?! I dunno. Tinkin of it...I am seekin high n low for it now. Where r u, talent? Tired of playin hide n seek wif it. Mayb I dun hav a talent after all. LOL! Who noes? Could it b designing? Could it b cookin? Both...I dun like. Art jus seems like it is never my forte. Havin tons of tots in my mind every nite is not helpin me. Insommia. ARGH!
It is scary to tink time jus flies! I am 18 tis yr! Oh my! Wanna sae young...not acutally veri young. Wanna sae old...no leh. 18 yrs of life...soon...workin will b sumting settling in my life. EEKS! Boring life...working is boring. It is scary u got to grow up as fast as e time flies. If onli...life is much more easier...w/o e prob of human relations...w/o e fact we hav to grow to act like an adult...
Okie okie...paiseh. Got into e siao mood of bloggin...long entry! Time to go...tomolo still need to wake up early for a game of...erm...goin to sia suay tomolo liao! LOL! See ya. ;)
