How do u noe...?!
How do u noe tat u hav let go? Is there any way to measure tat? Or is there any way u will noe tat u hav let go? I realli need an ans for tat. If there is a quiz or test or measuring equipment, I would wanna try it. (provided it is accurate) Many a times...when I tot I hav let go, actually I din. It is jus hidden @ some dark corners in me. I hav read an entry by someone...long time back...cant remember who issit. E person sae tat if u hav realli let go of sumting or someone, when u see e thing or person again, u wont feel anything. If I based it on tis theory, then I hav failed terribly. It is hidden in me. I dunno y. Mayb e time I need is longer?! But sumting within me...it has been 7 yrs! Yeah...7yrs. I would sae I wanna let it go for e past 3yrs...still I cant succeed. Issit e time I give myself is too little?! I dun tink so. 3yrs liao...how can it b too little? Or issit I am jus not decisive n determined enoff? Or issit I dunno wat to do?! Well...I tink it is definately not tis one. I noe wat shld b done...I noe it exactly. There are times in everyone's life...I believe...whereby u noe wat shld be done n wat shldnt be done. Yet, u choose to do e wrong way. I choose to do it e veri veri wrong way. I cant 4get. Teach me how to let go...teach me how to noe tat I hav let go... Sumting within me is tellin me to hang on. I dunno for wat...but it is jus a gut feeling. Tell me clearly tat there is no point in hangin on...I would rather cry my heart out then hangin on. But I need to b convinced...convince me. I am stubborn in tis way...argh.

I am lookin forward to e dae when I can clearly tell myself tat I hav let go. Then...I wont hav to lie to myself again. I tink onli then, I will b truly happy. I am happy now...cos life is pleasant. I am contented. But not truly happy...within me, there r places which need to b healed. Lying to urself is e hardest. Lying to anyone is much easier than lyin to urself. Cos u noe wat is e truth...wat is the fact...wat r false. Do u agree? Somehow...I feel tat in life, there r pple who u meet in life, whom u tink is much harder to lie to them as compared to e others. Hav u met such a person in life? Somehow...they jus seems to b able to see thru u. They jus noe tat u r lyin when u attempt to lie to them. How interesting. It alwaes amazed me as to how do they noe it! Mayb I am too easy to understand...many pple seems to b able to see thru me! Scary! :P

Hav u ever feel e pain in ur heart when u see someone u love got injured or hurt? E pain in e heart is jus a sharp pain. U experience it e moment u set ur eyes upon e person n seeing him/her being hurt. I believe tat e person whom u feel e pain for is e person u truly love and cared for. Out of no where tot...hahaha.

Recently...gan chu duo duo ah! Haha...I cant seems to type happy stuff. Instead...I end up typing philosophies n emotional entries. Haha...I wish I can find back e bo liao me soon. Wont hav so many tot provoking tots. Wont tink so much! Tink until got white hair liao! O_O Found one strand e other dae...actualli is e second one liao...cos I pluck off one e other time. Got to dye hair soon...to cover up e white hairs! Wahahah... Old liao...dun tink 2 much. Dun hav so many complicated tots. *psycho-ing myself*

Okie lah...another long entry. I am gettin more n more naggy. Opps! Haha... See ya!